Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Jerkstore.

Tonight, I arrived home from church after a long day of, well, bookshelf assembly. (For those of you Saint Markers out there: THE NAMETAGS HAVE A NEW HOME!) My friend Robert and I spent the morning at IKEA and the afternoon in the Narthex, and the evening in the fellowship hall, and then I stayed late into the evening for Theology on Tap. It's been a long, but very productive day.

So, I was sitting on our big blue Ektorp couch, catching up on my favorite blogs. I came across this great quote about undecided voters, and as Matt was joining me for some World-Series-Daily-Show watching (he's a big channel flipper), I mustered up my best reading voice and said, "Okay... who does this sound like?"

Mandy: (reading quote) "I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of sh*t with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?"

Matt: Oh, that sounds like David Sedaris to me.

Mandy: WOW! I can't believe you guessed that! Great job...you read it already, didn't you.

Matt: [Deadpan] Earlier today.

Mandy: I'm writing about this in my blog. (Pthbbbt.)

Let that be a lesson to you all.



2 comments:

Undecidedman said...

I love David Sedaris, but in this case he is making the same error as others who take easy shots at we "undecideds," mistaking thinking about the election (which, by definition, undecideds are still doing) with not thinking about it (which decided voters need to do less of, having already made up their minds). Anyone interested in what a real, live undecided voter is thinking about can visit a blog I created (www.undecidedman.com) and see if there is still more to talk about than chicken vs. sh*t sandwiches.

Brent said...

Sorry, Mr. Undecidedman, I actually tried to go to your website. My browser could never connect. (Probably something deeply symbolic about that.) I'm not even going to be partisan about this...

I understand that you're still thinking, I just don't know what's left to think about. Is there something that one of the two candidates will say or do between now and Election Day that will sway you? What is it? Is there some obscure issue you care so deeply about that it overrides other Big Issues like war and peace, health care, Social Security, taxes, education, abortion, privacy, gun rights, experience, etc.? I'm asking seriously. Because we're well beyond the "substance" phase of the election season. Surely there's nothing new to learn about where each candidate stands on issues. (If you're so inclined, I'm sure their websites have plenty of policy wonk stuff there. I'm not interested in that because it's very easy for me to decide... But you might be.)

Now the campaigns are just mudslinging and nastiness. Right?